Monday, April 25, 2011

Monday Male - El Jefe Goes to Vegas Part 2

    Another Guest Post by El Jefe

    Here is "El Jefe goes to Vegas" Part 2.  

    Be sure to read Part 1 HERE first.

    My friend shall remain anonymous (you know who you are!)

    My friends and I had been up all night, at the clubs and then in the casinos. It was about 5am and we ended up in the Golden Nugget Casino Restaurant. At 5am, there are alot of old people eating the buffet breakfasts that are served in the casino restaurants. We were definitely the youngest people there.

    One of the girls in the group was pretty gullable and pretty drunk. We convinced her to walk over to a table with an older couple and start dancing like Michael Jackson (She was actually a great dancer and did choreography for the Austin Ballet.) I forgot to mention that "Thriller" had just started playing on the speakers in the restaurant.

    She walked over and broke out the moonwalk. She then started doing the whole Thriller dance routine. The old guy at the table started yelling at her to get away from them. Thing is, when she starts to dance, she does not want to stop. She ignored him and just kept dancing. We are cracking up at the table. It was hilarious. You have to picture a drunk girl dancing Thriller for old people who do not want her dancing it! 

    She continued, nailing the Thriller dance step by step (pretty impressive given that she had been drinking for about 8 hours straight). The old man, about 80 years old, clutched his butter knife and raised it. I was the first to see it and I yelled "KNIFE!" It didn't phase her. She kept dancing. All of a sudden, he took a swipe at her with his dull butter knife, glancing her leg. He stood up and swung the knife a second time, hitting her in the arm. That is when she finally stopped and walked away, all the while the old guy is cussing up a storm.
    She comes back to the table, mad at me because she thinks she almost got killed. She actually had a big butter swipe on the front of her pants. I had to explain to her it was just a butter knife.

    Now, more hilarity ensues as she tells me, "I don't care what kind of knife it was, they all can kill. He could have punctured a vein or something in my leg and I would have bled to death." Everyone is cracking up again as she is ranting and raving about her "near-death" experience. The girl is actually getting mad because she thinks we do not care about her.

    This is when I take the butter knife sitting on the table and show it to her. I show her that there is no serrated edge, no point, nothing that could puncture the skin. Unless he stuck it in her eye, nothing was going to happen. The table is cracking up so much that we are asked to leave the restaurant. Partly for the dance display and partly for the fun that we are having. 

    Anyway, we head out and she just starts crying and crying.  Mumbling about how we were going to let her die.  Then, she passes out in the lobby and we carry her to the elevator and up to the room.  But the fun is not done yet. 

    We grab some packets of ketchup and swipe a butter knife from the restaurant.  When we get her up to the room, we put ketchup on her pants and shirt so it looks like blood.  We put the butter knife in her hand.  Everyone sleeps.

    We are staying in a suite.  There are 8 of us in there and we all are woken up by a shrill scream at about 10am.  Our friend is freaking out, thinking she had been stabbed.  She runs out of the room with ketchup everywhere.  I really wish I had a video camera!!!  

    Needless to say, she was a little upset with us and did not talk to us until the next day.  Looking back, she laughs at it more than we do - But at the time, I think she wanted to take the butter knife and poke our eyes out!!!


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